Okay, after being reasonably ill for 2 months which ranged from kidney stones to eventually it being a viral infection/kidney, 3 rounds of nuclear strength antibiotics, asking my dr. for a b-12 shot as I feel like the vampires have been at me, and his remark of “…are you an alcoholic?”, and then being told no, he wouldn’t give me one, to trying to find a piece of jewelery (see July Elle page,”Gray Glamour”), miss tsunami is riled up, and simple furious.

I called the maker of  this piece of jewelry, a ring to be exact. Now, you would think that since they are presenting this information, they could, oh, I don’t know, HAVE an idea however small on where to buy the fucking thing. Ah, but I haven’t lived in NY for a very long time and had forgotten the rules of engagement. How could they not know their  own product line?  Telephone ping pong is played (please don’t get me started on that yet), but it is now a the point where I am supposed to receive email on this item. The rule of engagement are these: In NYC, stupidity and ignorance are passed off as “upper class” broad vowels fast clip. As someone once said, “You are only a shopgirl” when dealing with this nonsense.  If I ask a question, and it includes my money, you’d damn well better have a answer, accurate, concise, and to the point.You can forget manners – hire a sex worker, you’ll get better results.

So I am waiting on this ring info and having worked briefly in the “gommint” industry back East at one point of my life, realize that I am dealing with dolts.

Being a native New Yorker, conceived there,  born in London, and brought up in NY, then moving to CA, I have come to a conclusion. East is East and West is West and the two are both hell with onions on. I have developed an accent which is unplaceable and an attitude of not suffering fools gladly, which I am sure violates the Idioit Moron treaty somewhere. You may call me Miss Crabbykins, doyonne extradinaire.

But I still ain’t got the ring. Which to quote my darling Irish grandmother who had the personality of a rattlesnake on a hot day – “That’s the pernt of the whole thing. Now leave me alone.”

And California has been hybridized by all the refugees from “back East”. The uber beach look (nuclear hair, tobacco tan) all a dead giveaway.

Just don’t get me started on that old fashioned word, quaint and out of style, manners.

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